Wednesday, May 21, 2014

power of the mind

I always knew the mind was a powerful thing. Believing that a single positive thought could go a long way, and that positive energies led to positive manifestations has always been my mantra. 

Whether I was laying motionless for days on end, going completely stir-crazy in my hospital room, ranting to myself about what a joke "neutropenia" is, or enjoying my boyfriend, friends, beach, dogs, drinks and eats I couldn't have gotten through it without positivity. 

Your mind must believe that it can do something before it is capable of actually doing it. I think this is particularly true of patients with cancer and other terminal illnesses. On several occasions, in my mind I picture the cancer cells literally leaving my body. I imagine what they look like and everything. I meditate and express heaps of gratitude for my strong and resilient vessel that I dwell in. I imagine my body healing itself from the inside out. In addition to that I do my best to remain positive, trusting and hopeful of chemotherapy treatments and Dr. Greenwald. 

I think it's helpful and important to remind yourself that you will get through these hard times and they will make you stronger. Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones is key. When things are hard and you're feeling down look for those distant glimmers of hope. In my case, dreaming of Thailand is what has gotten me through these past eight gruesome months. Not only is cancer hard on the body, but it messes with you mentally as well. From day one I've said that the mental battle is at least half of the battle. The daily thoughts I have of Thailand keep me hopeful and fighting for the life I know I deserve and will attain. I'm getting lost in travel books and even dreaming up my outfits. In fact, my trip has positively been manifested and I leave San Fransisco, CA on September 23, 2014.

Your question probably is, will I be done with treatment by then?
...
My answer is, I BETTER BE! 
Shooing for mid July 2014.

 *One small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.* 

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Thursday, May 8, 2014

spring has not sprung around here


Something I've noticed is how peoples well wishes, cards and flowers dwindle down and fade away as time goes on. I'm okay with this because I'm not and never have been one for attention. I think that's a big reason why it's so hard for me to keep up with this blog. For the most part I'm a loner and like it that way. By this point in my journey it has become clear who my ride-or-die friends and supporters are. For them I am beyond grateful. Of course I appreciate the outreach of so many and was extremely taken back and floored at the same time by the amount of support I have received throughout this journey, particularly at the beginning. However, as most of that has faded away and the shock of being diagnosed with leukemia is gone so are most people. Like I said, I don't like attention and pretty much never want to be in the spotlight so I'm okay with this, but I think it's worth me mentioning and important for people to know that the longer someone is sick for the harder is gets -mentally, physically. So whoever is reading this take note. If someone you love falls ill, your love, support, wishes and flowers mean more in the middle and end of their journey than at the beginning. In fact, it's almost overwhelming at first. The darkest days are to follow the diagnosis. I think anyone battling an illness can attest to this. So if you love someone, make spring spring all year long.

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